Making Friends

As a pre-teen, I remember going to a book fair once with my mother, told her I wanted the book "Making Friends" by Andrew Matthews, and I stood in line for the author to sign it. I spelled my name out loud, alphabet by alphabet. Growing up, I could hardly count with one hand the number of classmates I spoke to in Primary school, and felt alone right through Secondary school. My usual routine involved going to school, being sulky and quiet, seeking my sister during recess time, then taking the bus or walking home with her. Even with after-school activities, I was usually out of the school a.s.a.p. To my memory, I only had one classmate come over for one afternoon, to work on a science project. And then never again. Never had a birthday party, too.

Did I read the book? I remember admiring the illustrations more than its content, but that's just the way I am. It must have helped in some way. There was always homework, cleaning, the dishes, or some idle drawing I had to do, too.

Things changed when my sister left our school after the 'O' levels (she is a year older than me). Left to my own devices, I had to seek new company. Long story short, I ended Secondary school with a handful of friends, although they were obviously the ones that sat in my corner of the classroom. University was quite a different story, yet similar in its small group size.

 

One day last year two years ago, I got to reflecting on how being in Switzerland had widened my social circle. I did not have a job, yet to The Hubs, I was busier than he was with lunches and activities* -- a far cry from my years in Singapore and the US. Ask me now how I meet people and have friends while in a "foreign country" (foreign being non-English-speaking), and my answer is simple: language classes. Also, we all had something in common, and that was being foreign.

The internet was, and is of immense help, too. It is a life-saver for us introvert types.

As I prepare myself to face another chapter in the States, I find myself extending my little cyber feelers. While there may be no "obligatory" language courses to seek out and attend, I am thankful for interest groups. I'll just have to get past my irrational fear for driving**, remember to turn up, and keep the conversation going with more than a 'Yes' or 'No' answer. Or do I need a book for that too?

What was it like growing up, and how do you continue to make friends?


* Not many many, but relatively lot more than before.
** As long as I get past this, the Garden State is my oyster.